Taking a L.E.A.P

After much thinking and deliberating, at last i gave in. I went to the office to meet the PPD. Have a chat with him. I voice out my intention to decline the post offered to me. But, they just won't accept it. Then, he asks me to go back to school and make up my mind. 

This decision making sucks everything out of me. I was so tense and I even fell sick because of too much stress. Well it’s me who makes thing complicated. Haha… *br tau kan… sepa suru talampau bepkir… It’s a major decision to make and it involves my career as a teacher. Am I ready? I am very afraid. Well it’s about going out of my comfort zone and challenging myself with new working environment.

So….

Here I am now, sitting in the office taking a LEAP hoping that my legs are strong and long enough to take a big LEAP. 

Taking a LEAP

Approximately 1 month ago, I was on the field cheering for my athletes on the top of my lung. Suddenly my phone rang; I looked at the phone screen.Hmmm…unknown number. I hesitate whether to answer it or not. I ignore the call and put my phone on silent mode. Even in silent mode the phone vibrate non-stop. I wonder who is calling and what so important? At last, I gave in. I reach to my pocket and answer the call. “Hello, Amy ka ni? Ini *** dari ppd km” An unfamiliar male voice speaking in a very formal way makes my heart beating like Nicki Minaj Super Bass. So, I tried my very best to answer in the most calm and formal way. But then, the big surprise came and I couldn’t control myself. “Apa!???? FasiLINUS??!! Gila ka… kenapa pula sa.. Eeee… budu… adaka… sa nda mo eh…”Haha… There goes my poise. I was on the phone with all the teachers and students around me and all of them looked at me with a big question mark on their head. They must be shocked when I suddenly stand up and babbling on the phone with a voice that can be heard from 10 metre radius and hand gestures greater than Karam singh walia signature hand gesture.

Yes. It wasn’t a typo. It’s FasiLINUS. I know there are some who don’t know what is FasiLINUS. Here’s a brief description. FasiLINUS = pemudahcara + works at ppd + orang yang pg memantau d skul bsing2 pasal linus + etc. Bottom line is FasiLINUS = NO MORE SCHOOL HOLIDAY!

The memory of that phone call haunted me for days. Until that nightmare came alive. The dreadful letter from KPM arrived. First, the letter to attend a course came followed by a phone call from the same person who calls me a few days back. I really don’t know what to do. I was hyperventilating. I screamed and almost cried. I don’t want to go but I don’t know what to do. So, I called my dad to ease my anxiousness. I’m torn apart. I really don’t know what to do. I only have less than 24 hours to make decision either to go for the course or just simply don’t go and write a letter.

My head pounding like mad. I don’t even know what to think. I like teaching in school. I love teaching the kids. It’s fun, enjoyable and meaningful. But then, if I were to learn something new and challenge myself or should I say to improve myself in management I should accept the offer.

In the end, i packed my bag and just go for the course. During the course, i was not paying any attention at all. You can put the blame on me for not paying attention but you can't just force me blindly to accept the offer. I chat with the existing fasilinus. They happily share their experience and how they are offered to be one. Almost none of them are willing to be one or voluntarily to be one. But they survive and they said it is a good and new experience. Learn new things and confront new challenges. I called my friends hoping to get some comfort. I was at ease for a few minutes while talking with them but after that my head will start thinking again. I think to much. I know.

*to be continued.... a very long and winding post... i know...